Friend who calls last minute


 I’m a planner, and my friend does everything last minute.  She’ll call on a Saturday afternoon to go to the movie in a few hours, or if she’s going to get back to me about going out, it’s often right before the event we’re going to.  It tics me off – I’m a planner.  I’ll ask her to the movies a week ahead of time, but wont’ hear back till last minute.  I want to keep her as a friend, but don’t know how to connect without getting irritated. How should I handle this?



3 responses »

  1. Dear Marissa:

    How irritating to have to wait to the last minute to hear back, especially if you like to plan. Depending on what your friendships like, you might try to bring this up lightly in your next conversation with her. Explain that you’re a planner and say you’d at least like to know whether or not she wants to get together at a particular time a few days ahead. If she needs to decide last minute about which place to eat or movie to see, tell her you can discuss that the day of – you just need to set the time aside so you don’t make other plans. If this doesn’t work (some people just can’t commit for some reason) feel free to not commit either. When the day arrives you’ve discussed, call her if you want to go out. If you don’t want to go out then or have made other plans and she calls, just say “I’d have loved to but I just made plans with _________. Let’s try another time, okay?”

  2. Pingback: Friend who calls last minute « fieldflow05

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